I set out to write a blog about being true to yourself, and this is what came out on the page…
My Mom has a digital picture frame that the grandkids gave her several years ago. All the grandkids send photos that show up on this screen and then join the other photos already uploaded.
When visiting Mom this last week, I saw my brother’s image pop up with his kids, grandkids, our siblings. He had a way of putting you at ease. Calm and sure, he had a presence that could comfort you, even in the hardest of situations. His presence comes through in these photos. (Mark is at the far left in this photo.)
I am sad today.
My brother was a kind, gentle, generous soul.
He dedicated his life to his family and to helping others.
Mark was an Oncologist. Twenty months ago, he died of the very disease that he helped so many others get through.
Tomorrow Mark would have celebrated 65 years of age.
He left us way too soon.
In the end, he was at peace. He told me, “I had a good life. I got to have a beautiful family. I got to see the world. Does this suck? Yeah. But I’ve had a good life.”
It does suck losing someone you love.
I miss him every day.
Grief.
I guess in a way, I am writing about being true to yourself. I am feeling the feelings rather than stuffing them. I am honoring my brother, Mark’s, memory.
For me, grief comes in waves. At first, the waves were big and took my breath away. They left me feeling exhausted and beat up.
With time, the waves have settled some and spread out. They can still take my breath away. But in their wake, I’m left with a whisper of gratitude. A feeling of joy for having shared this space, this life.
Love fills in the gaps between past and present…
Today, Mark, I am sad. I was honored to love and be loved by you. I see you in your children and grandchildren. I feel your calm and steady presence. I remember your humor and your smile. And I wish I could hear you laugh again.
Tomorrow, I will eat cake in your honor, Mark. I love you.
Recent Comments