In a Trauma Touch Therapy™ workshop I attended years ago, we participated in a boundaries exercise where two people are partnered up. One sits on the floor as the other comes closer and sits across from her. It is the job of the person sitting on the floor to tell the other person when to stop. The other person is to respect the communication of the person on the floor and sit where she indicates.
What was interesting to observe is how intentional we both were. We were two people who did not know each other.
In the next part of the exercise, the first person showed the other person where her boundaries were by using her hands – painting her boundaries in the space around her. The second person’s job was to observe and to notice how seeing this person’s boundaries felt.
It was a profound introduction to boundaries.
I was torn between wanting to make a connection with this new person and honoring what I was feeling in my body. As if there was a “right” distance that could make both of us feel comfortable. (Empaths may relate.) I realized I don’t often consider my own comfort.
We aren’t taught how to have boundaries. And in some instances, we are taught the opposite, that what we feel, think, and value is not important.
To intentionally show and tell another our boundaries, and on the other side, to witness another’s boundaries, can be a powerful experience. It was for me.
This exercise gave me permission to sense into my personal space, my comfort level, my limits. It gave me permission to have boundaries and to honor them. To claim space.
In the Mid-life Archetypes Quiz results, you’ll learn how boundary issues may manifest in mid-life. Boundaries may be one of the threads that weave through your life until you learn how to acknowledge and honor who you are.
Take the Mid-life Archetype Quiz now.
Journal Prompts:
Do you know your boundaries? Your limits? Your values?
Are you able to communicate your needs?
Are you able to discern between what is you and what is someone else?
Can you say “No”?
Are you respectful of another’s space, autonomy, feelings, and perspectives?
How comfortable are you with physical touch – hugs, hand-holding, public displays of affection?
Do you honor your body’s cues for rest or personal space?
Describe a time when your boundaries were disregarded.
Describe a time when you crossed your own boundaries.
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